The Courage of the Wolf (Re-blogged)

I confess to having many recent thoughts along these lines. It is a wonderful summary.

The Courage Wolf | Willing To Lose It All

Posted on May 27, 2015

courage wolfAm I willing to lose everything…put it all on the line…to head once more into the fray…to bring out the courage wolf and to let everything I’ve ever had go?

Am I willing to see this all the way through, to be possibly destroyed by it…to be created from it…to rise from it? Am I willing to suffer…feel the weight of its demands upon my shoulders…feel crushed beneath it? Am I willing to see this through to the end and let it take on a life of its own, changing me along the way?

Am I willing to enter that pit again after seeing what light is like? Can I travel back down into the depths and bring others out with me? Can I guide them by the stars through the thickest trenches of black tar grasping and pulling at them to sink back down into the abyss? Can I do these things? Can I be that man, the one who knows himself and yet can be what the world actually needs him to be? Can I answer this call…the greatest call I’ve ever heard ringing throughout the halls of my life? Can I answer it?

Am I willing, at times, to walk alone with just my faith? Can I truly be alone? To have everything taken from me? Everyone taken from me? Can I walk this path knowing full well I will be targeted, focused on, picked apart, manipulated, ripped to shreds and have others incinerate my character? Can I do this?

Can I carry the weight of a hundred million eyes watching everything I do? Can I remain authentic in my purpose? Can I remain loving? Can I stay connected? Can I continue to trust and put my heart out there through all of this? Am I willing to crash and burn if that’s what this path calls for? Am I willing to enter into a place darker than any other place I have ever been? Am I willing to feel that pain again? Am I willing to sit on the dark shower floor in tears with my hands on my head …knees curled up into my chest…feeling the water just run over me? Can I take this? Can I stand in my flames once again? Can I refuse to lay down as the burning match and simply allow for life to put whatever fire out? How much faith can I really run on with this? Can I muster all of it? Can I call forward the courage wolf?

Am I willing to create this and watch it all be ruined by something I couldn’t control? Am I willing to go through that same heartbreak losing baseball wrenched in my soul? Can I continue after losing the people I love? Can I listen to the whispers despite the loudness of what is to come? Can I stand in the face of a wave, grander than anything I’ve ever witnessed…a wave that could drown me in a heartbeat…only to have the belief that it will flow around me at the most opportune time.

Can I rise again if I fall? Can I fall so hard I bounce. Am I willing to take the criticism? Am I willing to adapt and adjust? Am I willing to continue and endure no matter what? Am I the right man for this? Am I capable of actually doing this? Can i go on despite overwhelming fear? What if everything goes south? What if they try to ruin me? Am I willing to put myself out there, as the imperfect man I am…and witness the wolves circling constantly? Can I nourish myself despite any circumstance?

Am I doing this? Am I really doing this?

Can I really………

But what if it never……….

Am I going to completely………………

Shhhh.

Yes.

You can.

– Evan Sanders

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About Lance Greenfield

Blog: lancegreenfield.wordpress.com email: lancegmitchell@outlook.com I published my debut novel in December 2014: Eleven Miles. My second novel went live in February 2016: Knitting Can Walk!
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2 Responses to The Courage of the Wolf (Re-blogged)

  1. Great choice for a reblog, Lance. It’s hard to sacrifice everything and jump into the unknown. I’ve actually done it a couple of times. The last time didn’t turn out so well… So now, here i am… trying to find the courage to do it all again. But logic, experience, and rationality keeps intruding. Looking for that “healthy level of insanity” to force me to make the leap. Have a satisfying Saturday. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your couple of escapes so far, even though one was unsuccessful, would make interesting reading, I’m sure.

      The problem that I would have, if I am totally honest and open about it, is that I would wreck the lives of so many people about whom I really care. My disappearance from their lives would bring on a period of grief. At least, I like to think so.

      Like

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