Lance’s Coach Tour #9

Monday is Columbus Day, which is a public holiday in about half of the States of the United States of America. Little did he know that his discovery of the New World was going to open up the biggest can of massively wriggly worms in the history of mankind. So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, let’s set forth to greet the great Italian seaman as he lands on the shores of Jamaica in 1494.

“I absolutely love that period of history!” shouts deputy porter, Lucie. Make sure youset your dials tight this time, Lance. We don’t want to land in the middle of an ancient Caribbean hurricane.”

Eloise asks Teagan if she has baked another of her lovely cakes for today’s celebrity host.

“Of course! I’ve baked several of my unique orange and lemon sponges for him to share with his officers and crew. That’ll fight off the dreaded scurvy.”

We’ve only driven a few hours down the timeline before Howard, our resident tout minstrel, leading us all in a medley of sea shanties.

Sherry, Barb, Tess, David, Sheila and Yvonne join him in perfect harmony. Olga, Hugh, Kathryn and Colleen are soon singing along too.

Victo Dolore and Ritu are rather worried about the possibility of seasickness on the trans-Atlantic crossing but i reassure them. I have recently fitted the very latest, twenty-third century cosmic stabilisers from one of my more forward trips.

Marissa, Karin, Chuck and Kamal wisely slap on the sunscreen just as we land on the Mapbeach of what has become known as Discovery Bay. It is beautiful. Already, the natives are gathering to watch the approaching fleet of strnge European vessels. They have obviously never seen anything of he knid and they don’t know whether to be scared or excited.

Some of our newer time-travelling companions find it strange that the people don’t bat an eyelid at the appearance of a bus from the future. It is not long before Sylvia explains to the that my coach is designed to blend perfectly whith whatever surroundings we find ourselves in during our travels.

We persuade the local people that a friendly welcome might be prudent. SO they dance and sing and play their strange musical instruments, as Christopher Columbus and his crew approach the beach. A feast is soon in the making.

The famous explorer stares at us. We look out of place on this island.

“Are you the people whom I seek? From the land of Nippon? Are you Japanese?”

We carefully avoid his question by asking him about his voyages.

He explains that he is loving the discoveries of new lands and peoples, but that he sometimes finds them rather difficult to deal with.

columbus_watling“They just won’t obey orders. I am not used to such subordination.”

I notice that Jeannette takes him aside to whisper in his ear. They return to the main party looking very satisfied with themselves.

“What did you say,?” I ask.

I reminded him that there will be a total eclipse of the moon in just tow evenings from today. These natives know little of astronomy and cannot predict such events. I told him that the should inform them that, if they don’t do exactly as he instructs, he will steal their moon. He thinks that this would be a tremendous joke and that it might just work.

Sadly, the feast is concluding, and I usher my guests back onto the bus.

We have all enjoyed the spicy, fruity food. We have all enjoyed the drink. We have all enjoyed the entertainment. Most of all, we have all enjoyed witnessing the opening of a whole new world.

As we whizz back, or should I say forward, to modern London, the excitement continues. On thing that we all have in common is that we are all bloggers. Everybody is thinking the same thought: “I can’t wait to share this with my blogging followers!”

Supplementary to that thought, they are processing to the front of the coach to suggest future destinations for Lance’s Coach Tour Number Nine and beyond. Where and when would YOU like to go?

Tell me!


There were many other bloggers who were on this trip who were not mentioned in my report. The following people shared the fun of our wonderful trip to the Shandu Summer Palace to meet Kublai Khan and Marco Polo:

DonnaDavidAlka, Francis, Ane, LiaItchy Quill, Dominique, Beth, Krissy, Lucy, Nydia, Carrie, Alka, Deborah, Almost Welsh Sarah, Janet, Erika, Wendy Kate, Sally, Tooty Nolan, The Owl Lady, The Crazy Bag Lady, CarolCCBecSassycare, Jo, JaneDiana,  Heartafire, Simple Head Girl, BarbaraNydia, Carrie, BecJason, Sassy, Amber, Steve, AllisonVonita, JulzFaraday’s Candle Sisters, FionaOrdinary WifeLili, Bridgette, Nunziapier, Izma, Meredith, Charise,
Boikanyo, Razorback, Marianne, Cindy, Sacha.

Previous Coach Tours:

  1. Stonehenge during its construction: meeting the foreman
  2. 1920’s New Orleans
  3. Macedonia in 338 BC to meet Aristotle and the young Prince Alexander (the Great)
  4. Syracuse in the mid-third century BC to meet Archimedes
  5. Vienna in 1801 to meet Ludwig van Beethoven
  6. First Century AD Britain to visit Queen Boudica on the eve of a great battle
  7. Kublai Khan’s Summer Palace during visit of Marco Polo
  8. Galileo’s small apartment in Pisa, where we told him all about the sixty-seven moons of Jupiter.

About Lance Greenfield

Blog: lancegreenfield.wordpress.com email: lancegmitchell@outlook.com I published my debut novel in December 2014: Eleven Miles. My second novel went live in February 2016: Knitting Can Walk!
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