This is a poem that I learnt at school when I was eight. You can imagine my mother’s horror when my little sister, aged six at the time, returned from a friend’s birthday party, and the conversation went something like this.

– Did you have a nice time darling?
– Yes Mummy. We all had to do a party piece.
– Oh. Did you sing a song?
– No. I said Lance’s poem.
– Which poem is that darling?

My friend Billy’s got a ten foot willy,
And he showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it’s only five foot four!

I was in serious trouble!

You’ll find more quick laughs on Titbits page.

Posted in Humor, Humour, Personal, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment


Four years after I wrote When Pleasure Blooms, along comes the perfect poetic synopsis.

Thank you for Unfurling the Bloom in such a sensitive and sensual manner, Elan Mudrow!

Elan Mudrow

Before the unfurling

The inward bloom

An artist’s fist

Compressed to the movement

Of skin and desire

Held to earth

By fragile stem

One day will

Follow the sun

Learn to lure the bee

Speak in soft flesh tones….

And landing upon transitory beauty


Only representations

Are permanent.

Form, structure, pigments.

A ghost’s body

Still holds the shape

Of hands outlined, flat

Upon the prehistoric cave

View original post

Posted in Personal, Poetry | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Poetry from Elan Mudrow

I hope that you love Elan’s poetry as much as I.

Dive in…

Source: Poetry


Here is where my deepest heart lies. These writings appearing in this blog emanate from the many times when my passion hits the bottom and other times where it seems to fly on wings. To solace myself, I go to the woods on deep forest trails, pray to waterfalls, look over valleys, and dip my hands in the waters of springs, hoping to soothe myself. Forgive me if I get angry; for at times I’m just plain mad at the world.

Posted in Personal, Poetry | Tagged , | Leave a comment

#Halloween Tips From a Bad Mother #SundayBlogShare

Barb Taub

One of my new favorite Halloween haunts is the tiny black ghost kitten who roams the St. Enochs station platform of the Glasgow subway (third oldest underground metro in the world) [image credit: Millard Filmore's Bathtub] of my new favorite Halloween haunts here in Scotland is the tiny black ghost kitten who roams the St. Enochs station platform of the Glasgow subway (third oldest underground metro in the world)
[image credit: Millard Fillmore’s Bathtub] My annual Halloween re-post!

I love Halloween. And by that I mean, of course, I love the excuse to buy massive bags of candy bars in make-it-through-the-zombie-apocalypse quantities, and not in those little wuss-bar sizes either. Cause I’m ALL about the leftovers kids.

But I didn’t know how it works here in Scotland, so I consulted the brain trust: unsuspecting strangers who talk to me at the park. No, I know what you’re thinking. It’s the UK. When you see someone you know, you turn around and walk immediately in the other direction on the off-chance that they might want to talk to you. It has absolutely nothing to do with whether…

View original post 947 more words

Posted in Personal | Leave a comment


I am proud to be associated with this excellent, hard-working author. She is one to watch!

Thoughts by Mello-Elo

It is with great pleasure that I get to announce that my books are now available at the Woodley Library in Reading. From Spoilt Miranda to The Iron Pendulum, they are rubbing words with the likes of Tom Clancy and Julia Donaldson!

It’s not the easiest thing to get your books into your local library and it can take a while for them to be vetted and loaded onto the database. But that’s not the most exciting thing: it’s opening a copy of your book and finding the first page stamped with dates acknowledging the book has been taken out for a spin! That’s when the bubbles ricochet against your rib cage and you realise book lovers have access to your words, anytime.

I’m jumping for joy and would like to thank the librarians at Woodley Library for adding my stories. Little events like this mean so much to…

View original post 37 more words

Posted in Personal | Leave a comment

Markets For Freelancers

Take a look through this article from Esther Newton. With some hard work, there has to be at least one route to pennies in the bank amongst all these links.

Source: Markets For Freelancers

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Free Book Offer – 3 days only

Here’s a three-day FREEBIE from Auridius O’Conner. Take a look at the reviews on Amazon. Download your Kindle copy of “When Pleasure Blooms”. Enjoy the five short stories, and please post your own review.

Please re-blog, re-post and re-tweet. Spread the word so that all your friends can also take advantage of this free offer. It’s only there until Wednesday!

Auridius O'Conner

WPB CoverTo celebrate my name launch and to tie in with Halloween, I am offering the Kindle version of When Pleasure Blooms as a FREEBIE for three days, from 30th October to 1st November. Just click on the link during the offer period, and download a copy.

Somewhere, buried within the pages of this anthology, you’ll find a ghost and a monster. Read the book and find them for Halloween!

All that I ask in return for your free book is that you post an honest review on Amazon when you have finished reading it.

Oh! And if you would be so kind as to spread the word by re-blogging, re-posting, re-tweeting and telling all of your friends, he would be most grateful.


View original post

Posted in erotica, free book, Personal | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment