Lance’s Coach Tour #3

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Welcome aboard. Today we are going to visit an old friend of mine, a teacher called Harry, and his latest star pupil, Alex. You will know them better as Aristotle and Prince Alexander, son of King Phillip II of Macedonia.

I am pleased to say that every seat is taken on my third coach tour. As I implied in my introduction, we are destined for Stagira in Macedonia in the year 338 BC, where we will meet the great philosopher and teacher, Aristotle, and the teenage Prince who would go on to become Alexander the Great.

Regulars, Eloise, Lucie, Sheila, Wendy, Sally, Tooty, Viv and Howard, must really enjoy these trips. They’ve joined me on all three. Perhaps I should think about issuing loyalty cards.

As I look around the coach, I am delighted to also welcome back Dominique, Chick Piggy, Paul, Julz, Hugh and the Candle Sisters. Steve and Allison are already canoodling on the back seat.

It’s alright folks. They’re married!

There are a lot of newcomers on board too. Amongst them, Kath, Babus, Catmint, Lucy and Bynda.

We are soon under way, and it takes no time at all to get from Victoria Bus Station in London to Stagira in Macedonia. That’s not quite true. It takes us MINUS 2,353 years!

The great Philosopher himself greets our arrival.

“Kalemera Lance, phile mou! How are you? It seems like only yesterday that you last came to see me.”

“Kalemera Harry. It’s great to be back. I’ve brought a few of my friends to meet you and Alex.”

Aristotle leads us along the beautifully pillared corridors and into a classroom where the young prince awaits our arrival. He is puzzling over an intricate knot, which appeared to have no ends, on a pole in front of him.

Fiona is quick to ask Alex what he is doing.

“Aristotle has given me many problems to solve. This one is simply to untie the knot and show him a single length of rope.”

Many of the tourists know the legend of Alexander the Great and the Gordian Knot, but that came much later in his life so they keep their thoughts to themselves. I had warned them that it would be inappropriate to change the course of history.

However, Brandy, being a keen sailor who has never heard of the Gordian Knot, is quick to see the solution. Unable to restrain herself, she leans forward and whispers in the Prince’s ear, “Do you know how to splice a rope?”

Prince Alexander frowns for a few seconds before his face lights up as he suddenly realises what Brandy means. He draws his knife and cuts the rope, knowing that he will be able to splice the cut ends together to restore the single length.

Sara, Elan, Tesse and Kaisy have formed a little group around Aristotle. They are in awe as he recalls his times with Plato.

The rest of the day-trippers have set off in little groups to explore the town. Natasha and Adele are keen to find a watering hole. Rachel and Kitt are marveling at the beauty of the mosaics.

Several hours later, the group are reluctant to leave, but the time has come back to return to twenty-first century London. On the way back, Howard, as usual, leads Boikanyo, the Ordinary Wife and Jo in the customary sing-song. Soon, the whole coach is singing along.

As we near Victoria, the talk turns to where and when we might go on Coach Tour Number Four. I tell everyone to watch my blog as I’ll be setting up a vote in the next few days.